Friday, January 13, 2006

Half a Year.

Its been almost half a year since my sis had her back and wrist broken in an incident of domestic violence. The ex boyfriend who roughed her up, finished his brief sentence and we assume has gotten on with his life. Thank fully he seems to be abiding by the no contact order.
For those of you who are regular reads here, you will know that she has been living with me since her discharge from the hospital at the end of July.
She has come along way, through hard work, determination and her strength of character. Her back is healing nicely according to the surgeon. She no longer needs to wear her body brace. On her last visit to the orthopedic surgeons on Wednesday, she was told that she will not be going back to work for at least another 6 months. She knew she still had a ways to go, but was surprised that it would actually be a year minimum to recover. She misses work, worries that when she does return, that she will be out of touch. Its a highly technical job she does, with constant changes.
until she gets back to work and receiving a full paycheck again, she wont be able to afford to get back into her own place. As much as she appreciates having a place to stay with us, its still not her own house. She longs to set up her own kitchen and have all her own things about her, instead of in a storage locker. Her kids come over on the weekends and have to sleep on the Hide a bed. They don't have their own room with their own toys and treasures here. She misses that too. Although they do still have their own room at Daddys place, she wants that for them where she is too. She is missing so much. The man (if you can call him that) who brought this upon her has robbed her of so many things. Little daily comforts that we all to often take for granted.
So, although she has to regroup and continue to put some parts of her life on hold, it has caused her to appreciate just what she had before.
There are some things, no matter how hard some one may try, that can't be taken from you. He couldn't make her give up on life. He couldn't take away the stubborn streak. He couldn't rob her of her strength and determination. He may have beaten her down and made her question her value as a human being. But he was never able to extinguish the spark that burns in her heart. That spark is LOVE. Love of life. A small spark that wouldn't let her stop fighting back. She fought back against her aggressor, wouldn't let him kill her as he said he was going to that night six months ago. She fought back from serious injuries, and continues to do so. Most of all she fought back from a life of hell, whose pain could only be numbed by drugs.
Sure the road back continues to stretch out before her. But she's traveling in style, motoring along with a renewed love for what matters.
she's free. And as she travels down that road, she will enjoy the trip, trusting in herself and in a higher power. She survived that night for a reason. Maybe its not clear now why all this happened, but some day it will be.


carol said...

"What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger" as the saying goes, and how true it is. I now appreciate the life I took for granted before. I now can stand straight and proud for my accomplishments, that before were unseen. I now am aware of the dangers signs of an abusive relationship, that before felt I deserved. I am now alive, before I was dying, slowly. Now, whatever I conquer, will be done with a strong will and a love for life, and with self respect, and respect for others. Im staring my future head on, and drug free.

FTS said...

The best revenge is going on with your life.

It's so sad that while he was laying around incarcerated, with free meals, TV, and exercise, and then is set free to resume a normal life, she has to continue suffering. Something is wrong when the victim loses all she has worked for and he gets a fresh start.

David said...

She sounds like a strong woman who will make that comeback successfully. And she has a great sister to take her in as well - so pat yourself on the back.

Why can't her job stay in touch via internet so that she could remain up to speed? Is that possible?

Too bad she can't get a bunch of money from that creep.

John said...

Men who beat women are not men, they are something I won't mention in this space. Best wishes for your sister!

ddddddddddddddddddddd said...

She is an amazing woman to have come so far in such a little time. Her remarkable and stubborn spirit and force of will to survive is incredible to witness. But some of that credit does go to the family that has been so supportive and loving too.

Hugs, love and prayers for all

Edge said...

I love her strength, and yours

Bobbie said...

Both this post and Carol's were so touching.
Although the road to recovery is a long one, it will make Carol a stronger person in the end.
You are a wonderful sister Susan! And with your help and the love from family and friends, the future holds so much promise for Carol.
Take care.

EMOB said...

You are both amazing women, and you're lucky to have each other!

Dick said...

You have both overcome trials that many would fail. Carol's quote in the first sentence of her post is so true and this is an example of that almost to the extreme. Congratulations to both of you!

Stacie said...

My prayers for your sister. What an incredibly strong woman! Cheers to you also, for being a good sis and helping her along! Stacie

ellen said...

Rock on, Carol. You're a true survivor, and you have wonderful, loving support. That snake couldn't take any of that away from you.

Stacie said...

Hi Susan, sorry, I forgot to tell you...I found you through peace of mind..Leesa's left a comment. I really like her blog alot, her pictures are fabulous and we have alot in common, so I often check out links on her site and have found many blogs that I like that, that is how I found you. Thanks for visiting my blog.. I will be back to see more of yours. Stacie

mom and dad said...

lovely letter Susan, I don't think Carol's recovery would have been so swift if you and Keith hadn't taken her into your home. Carol is so lucky to have you as her guarduan angel. You have always been a special person and you grow better every year. Dad and I are so proud to be able to call you 'our' daughter. We love you and love all that you are doing for Carol. mom and dad

Monica said...

The most important thing, Susan, is your little sister survived. That speaks volumes in itself. I'm so glad that she did. Having a little sister of my own, I know I would want to kill someone who hurt her. My brother and son said that's how they felt when my ex put me in the hospital the day he was served with divorce papers.
Your little sister is strong and she's lucky to have family like you.